The following is a transcript of the 2001 film The Craig and Butters Movie.
Part 1: The 100 Chicken Nugget Challenge
(Shows Paramount Pictures logo on US prints)
(Shows Warner Bros. Pictures logo on international prints)
Text: PARAMOUNT PICTURES and WARNER BROS. PICTURES present
Text: in association with COMEDY CENTRAL
Text: a TJSWORLD2011 ENTERTAINMENT/BRANIFF production
(The film's logo zooms out onto the screen, and fades out after 3 seconds)
(Shows South Park Elementary at daytime. The text "SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY; SOUTH PARK, CO" is typed out in the bottom left corner of the screen. We cut to the students of the school at recess gathering around a lunch table in the middle of the schoolyard. Craig Tucker and Butters Stotch are seen walking out of the back door of the school and onto the schoolyard.)
Craig: What's everyone yelling about?
Butters: No idea. Maybe it's because someone's about to try and attempt that 100 chicken nugget challenge I've been hearing about.
Craig: Really? I think about 5 people died doing that.
Butters: That's because the cookers of those nuggets secretly put hot sauce on them when the challengers weren't looking. (points to the middle of the crowd) And look who's going to die now.
(We see Kenny McCormick in the middle of the crowd, where there is also a table with a seat. A plate of 100 chicken nuggets sits on the table.)
(Cuts back to Craig and Butters)
Craig: Oh man, Kenny's gonna die again.
Butters: Don't worry, he usually comes back. I don't know why.
(Cuts to Kenny sitting, and Kyle Broflovski walks up to him)
Kyle: Alright, Kenny, you've got about 3 minutes to finish these nuggets.
(We cut to Stan Marsh on the other side of the table)
Stan: If you win, you get nothing. If you lose, you get nothing.
(Kenny's hand reaches for a nugget, and just as he tries to put it up to his face, he falls over in the chair, and the nugget lands on his eyes, setting him on fire)
(We cut back to Craig and Butters)
Craig and Butters: Ooooh...
(Mr. Garrison busts the door open with a fire extinguisher in hand)
Mr. Garrison (running): Did one of you idiots stage a 100 chicken nugget challenge at school?!
(Mr. Garrison finishes running to the center of the crowd, where Stan, Kyle and Eric Cartman are)
Cartman: (with a sweat drop on his head) What fire?!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, I never even asked anyone about the fire.
Kyle: For the record, this was all God's idea!
(Mr. Garrison sighs, and then fires the fire extinguisher at the fire)
(We briefly cut to Craig and Butters watching the events as they happen then cut back to the previous shot)
Mr. Garrison: Okay, now that this is over, I don't want anyone to hold any 100 red hot chicken nugget challenges at this school anymore.
Cartman: Shh, listen...do you smell that?
(Kyle gives a brief confused look)
Cartman: That's the sweet smell of oppurtunity rapping at your door.
Kyle: Okay, fatass, one, you can't listen to a smell, and two, if by oppurtunity rapping at your door I hope you mean not the hip hop kind.
Mr. Garrison: Come on, everyone, recess is over anyway. We need to go inside. Also, I never have time to book a memorial service for Kenny these days.
Part 2: News Interruptions
(Cuts to a view of Craig's house)
Text: After School
(Cuts to Craig watching TV on the couch)
TV Person #1 (offscreen): Who are you?
TV Person #2 (offscreen): Oh, you will have to worry, for I am...BURGER ANNIHILATOR MAN!
Craig: Ugh...(changes channel)
(Butters runs in)
Butters: Craig, did you get that game Die Zombie Die for your N64 yet?
Craig: I did.
Butters: Are we going to play it?
(Cuts to a program on the TV)
TV Woman: Invisible Julie, how dare y--
(The screen suddenly glitches)
(A news bulletin appears on the screen)
Craig: Wait, what?!
TV Announcer: We interrupt what you're doing for this somewhat important news bulletin. Kenny McCormick took the alleged 100 Chicken Nugget Challenge, but the nuggets were hot and Kenny got burned and he died...again.
Craig: Yes, we know! We were there!!
TV Announcer: More on this story in a few hours. In the meantime, please enjoy this repeated video of a random woman getting hit by her own shopping cart for your own amusement.
(Said clip comes on)
(Craig just sits on the couch in shock)
Craig: So I won't be able to try and find anything to watch on TV for the next three hours?! That sucks..
(Craig walks up to the TV and so does Butters. Craig is about to turn off the TV when Butters stops him.)
Butters: Don't worry, Craig, we can just avoid watching cable and do something else on the TV. Now what exactly should we do? ...(snaps fingers) How about we can just watch a movie on DVD?
Craig: Alright, I guess we can do that...
(Craig picks up a DVD titled Chaos Stupid Adventures Part 17/8 and puts it into the DVD player)
(Craig and Butters sit on the couch as the movie starts)
Craig: This may not be engaging as cable TV, but it still works.
(The news bulletin shows up again on the screen)
(Craig and Butters walk up to the TV)
Craig: I don't understand...how could it even interrupt the DVD?
Butters: No idea. Try putting a VHS in there.
(Craig ejects the DVD and puts in a VHS titled Smasher: An (Un)True Story into the VCR, and he and Butters sit on the couch again as this movie starts)
(The news bulletin shows up again)
Craig: Are you kidding me?!!
(Craig and Butters walk up to the TV again)
Craig: I should've seen this coming. After all, a VHS is basically a toned down DVD, right?
Butters: Sure, I guess.
(Craig ejects the VHS)
Craig: Well, hopefully they can't interrupt my N64 game. What do you say that we take this TV and the N64 to my room to play some Die Zombie Die?
Butters: You know I'm in!
(Cuts to Craig and Butters finishing up setting the TV in Craig's room and Craig powering up his N64. They sit on Craig's bed, both with controllers in hand.)
Craig: Alright, let's--
(The news bulletin interrupts the TV yet again)
Craig: Oh, come on, come on, come on, give it up!!
Butters: It came on the N64 too?!
Craig: If it didn't just come on, I wouldn't be doing this...
(Craig stands up and goes over to a styrofoam block, picks it up, rund over to the TV and hits it with the box repeatedly in anger. Butters just watches as this happens.)
(Cuts to Craig and Butters walking into the hallway)
Craig: Is the TV possessed or something? Is it broken?
Butters: Don't worry about it, Craig, I'm just guessing that the News team has the right technology to hack into TVs like that Zenith TV.
Craig: But they didn't need to keep the news on there for three hours just to show something that's happened like 50 times. I wonder if they ever did this the first time Kenny got killed on the news...
(Craig and Butters walk over to Mr. Tucker's coffee table, and Craig picks up a Best Buy catalog)
Butters: What are you doing?
Craig: Trying to see if there are any AdBlockers on sale at Best Buy.
Butters: AdBlocker? What's that?
Craig: It's this device that can block news interruptions on whatever kind of TV you have if you install it onto the TV itself. It even works with radios.
Butters: Are you going to buy one for your house?
Craig: Yeah, in fact, I'm going to buy one for every TV we have in the house.
Butters: So that's about three or four?
Craig: Yep. And I'm going to do it all with my allowance.
Part 3: Hack Attack
(Cuts to a zooming view of Craig walking to the Best Buy store)
(Cuts to Craig arriving inside the store, and a Best Buy employee greets him)
Best Buy Employee #1: Welcome to Best Buy, you need help with anything?
Craig: Thanks, but I'm just here to get some AdBlockers for my house.
Best Buy Employee #1: Okay, let me know if you need help with anything.
Craig: I will.
(Craig walks over to the TV extras section and starts looking for some AdBlockers)
Craig: AdBlockers, AdBlockers, AdBlockers...(finds four of them) a-ha!
(Before Craig can pick them up, he notices that the wall of TVs has flickered to black)
(Craig walks to the side of the wall)
Craig: That's strange. The TVs are usually on at this time of day..
(Cuts to another Best Buy employee sneaking some bubblegum out of a machine by the entrance, and a woman walks by him and notices him doing so)
Best Buy Employee #2: ...Please don't tell my mom I did this.
(The woman walks away)
(The employee notices that the wall of TVs is off)
Best Buy Employee #2: Why's the wall of TVs off...?
(He walks over there)
Craig: Yeah, I noticed it was off too, so maybe you could fix it or something.
Best Buy Employee #2: Maybe I should get the manager...
(Suddenly, the TVs form into one big rectangle and guns come out of the sides, aiming for the customers and the workers)
Best Buy Employee #2: OH NO--!
(The TV guns start shooting)
(Craig runs out through the exit, and we pan left past the panicking customers before stopping on the manager's door, which the manager himself busts open)
Best Buy Manager: What's going on?! (notices the guns on the TVs) Why are the TVs shooting everyone?!
(Best Buy Employee #2 runs up to him)
Best Buy Employee #2: I don't know!! Someone must've hacked them or something!
Best Buy Manager: I gotta call the police...
(He runs back inside his office)
(Cuts to a black tank car marked with the blue letters "OTA" driving through the streets of South Park from the police)
More coming soon!
Part 4: The OTA